God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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