He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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