I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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