then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
organizing the empties. That sober.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
