Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
