Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
