You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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