I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
