just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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