This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
