Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
