therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
