Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize