Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
