...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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