Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
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