used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
the day after is always just damage control
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
