So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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