My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
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Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
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I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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