have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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