There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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