so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Randomize