you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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