whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
