You're completely useless in the revolution.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
