I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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