ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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