You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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