wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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