All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
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LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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