it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
