do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
oh god was she eating orange peels again
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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