Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
