I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
