I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
no you cant smoke seaweed
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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