i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
