Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Randomize
