believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize