Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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