you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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