He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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