Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I think my moral compass just broke
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
