Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize