So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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