Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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