did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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