We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Im just a social blackout drinker.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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