i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
