Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
