hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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