i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
