You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Buhtt sex?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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