I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
