Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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