I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize