i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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