i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
