I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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