i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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