I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
