loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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