You made me cry and you don't even care
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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