Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
