actually, I'm a sock model
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
