God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize