If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
is that a dick in a sweater?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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