On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
We need a shit load of segways right now
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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