I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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