I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
